there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
