I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize