I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
