oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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