I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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