This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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