I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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