y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize