I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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