It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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