positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
