That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Houston, we have a blender
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
