Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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