We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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