i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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