im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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