i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
