I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
