I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
farters have to be the big spoon...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize