i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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