I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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