he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
