glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
