you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
