Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
