i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
