The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just found a bag of teeth...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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