she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize