ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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