when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
