Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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