im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
