And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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