There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize