dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
