Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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