and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
