You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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