i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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