I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
