why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize
