You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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