He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
