That's intense
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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