guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
