i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
