His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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