We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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