I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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