whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
