Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
