I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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