So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
