She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
