He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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