porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
