i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
