Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(386): View more from Florida

it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.

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(305): View more from Florida

alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.

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(520): View more from Arizona

woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes

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(859): View more from Kentucky

i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes

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(760): View more from California

I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.

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(661): View more from California

random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them

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(678): View more from Georgia

im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers

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(909): View more from California

I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.

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(516): View more from New York

HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!

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