I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
