I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
