i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
