It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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