The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
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