and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
