my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize