...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Sorry about my life...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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