I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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