I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
