To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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